thanks for reading yesterday and tuning back in to hear the rest of the story...I know these blogs are really honest AND in writing them here I'm telling the world...I'm finally okay with that. We started trying for another baby when Adriah was only 9 months old. Kinda early but, I didn't want to waste anytime - knowing it could take 2 years to happen again. After a few months of trying on our own (cause we were kinda hopeful that the surgery had "fixed" my problem forever) we decided to return to the Infertility Clinic. Because we had tried we had started small and build our way up in trying for Adriah they kinda start you where you left off and build on that. That meant higher doses of drugs, different kinds, and more of them. So, needless to say, this round of infertility was way more intense...higher doses of drugs meant bigger hormone shifts...not pleasant! My poor husband was so patient. He kept telling me how happy he was with Adriah but, I desperately wanted her to have a sibling to grow up with. We decided to have a second surgery - hoping it would work again. It didn't and by July of 2007 I was giving myself 3-5 shots a day...I felt like I was treating cancer or some other horrible disease only nothing was "wrong" with me. Then, that month, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I desperately wanted another baby but I couldn't keep up with the drugs and all the emotions that went with them. So I quit. Just like that.
I didn't know if would ever have more children but, I knew I needed a break from the life I was living. We had talked about adoption but, I wasn't totally settled about it...I can't really explain why other then I was uncertain about the uncertainty of it. Does that make sense? I didn't want to come off my infertility roller coaster and get on the adoption roller coaster. I don't my heart could've handled the up's and down's of it.
So, I gave up. Not understanding the Lord's will or what I was supposed to do next. I just gave up...and finally laid it down. Not like I had any other options, right?
In August, I was in the middle of a very busy wedding season, and flew to Portland to shoot a wedding and when I came back I found out I was pregnant. I cannot tell you my mix of emotions when I held the test strip and it said positive. I mostly felt like...I went through all those drugs and spent all that money thinking it was my only option for another baby and for nothing cause in the end it was when I gave up that it happened. The funny thing was both Adriah and Leyton had the same due date (3 years apart) so, I was convinced I can only get pregnant one day a year. Now that I knew "my day" so when we were ready to try again...I could control it. Can you hear a resounding pattern? You'd think I would've learned something by now...but, alas, I did not. Like I said before it takes me a while - kinda thick skulled I guess.
Leyton O'Neal was born 2 1/2 weeks early on April 15th, 2008 (tax day). He is my miracle baby. He represents the end of infertility and infertility drugs. Matt and I decided that now that we had two I'd never take another drug and if we were supposed to have another it would be up to the Lord. (Like it wasn't "up to the Lord" the other 2 times? You know what I mean though) We felt complete but not sure if we were done.
OUR PLAN was to start trying in August...since that's MY TIME. But, God had another plan. We're expecting again. The miracle of this baby is that we weren't trying yet. What I thought would never happened to me (unplanned pregnancy) has happened and I am still marveling at it. I am due in February. We told Adriah that "Mommy has a baby growing her stomach" and then asked her to pray over the baby - this was her prayer, "Lord, thank you for giving me a little sister!" So, needless to say, we think we're having a girl. We'll find out for sure soon enough - I love that half way ultra sound! So, this one is my surprise baby!
We are blessed. I will be taking a maternity leave this time...which works out well because I don't usually do a ton of photoshoots in Feb, Mar or April. I will still be meeting with brides but, other then that, I will be hibernating with a new little Hedrick. I can't wait to meet him/her! (Yes, I did find out and it's only one!)
Thank you for listening to my long story. And I hope it gives you faith to trust the Lord for whatever you're asking/needing from Him right now. His timing is perfect even when we don't understand and don't agree...I think I'm starting to learn my lesson.