Friday, April 17th, 2015 I was on my way to pick up 19 Pokemon cards for $2 (Leyton was spending some of his birthday money and I was being a good mom :) Instead of picking up the cards I was in an awful car accident. Here's the car accident breakdown: I was driving on Highway 21, I had my blinker on from changing lanes, a car at a side road thought I was turning at Duluth Ave. and pulled out in front of me NO WARNING. It happened so fast I had no time to react or brake. So, we hit hard, the airbag deployed and, although it probably saved my life, it cracked my sternum. I remember feeling dazed and then hearing clara crying. I got out of the car and went to her...after seeing she was okay I realized I couldn't breathe and sat down. The kindness of people was everywhere at the scene of the car accident and at the hospital...the kindness of strangers brings me to tears even now. (I remember a "biker" guy who left his bike in the middle of the road and wouldn't leave my side until he knew I was safe in the hands of the medical people.) The ambulance took us to the hospital, and a CT scan to rule out any other injuries. The pain was crazy. I couldn't stop throwing up (a bad reaction to pain meds) and throwing up with a cracked sternum feels like someone is shooting you at point blank over and over. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. They kept me overnight to monitor me (and the pain.) On Saturday, I came home with bruises on my nose, elbow, hip, knees and chest. But, I was home...and that felt better.
I had this strange haze around me that I was saved and I knew it was for a reason.
The accident meant I couldn't fly to England to see my sister, but in a whirlwind she decided to come here and help me. And she did. In so many ways. Having a sister is like nothing else. She bossed me around and cared for me in exactly the way I needed.
I'm praying that the worst is behind us...cause it's been miserable. I'm thankful that this will heal, Clara wasn't hurt badly, I'm not in the middle of wedding season and we have already reached our medical deductible this year! Car accidents are awful, but God is good.
I'm trying to process everything and that's not easy. I'm so emotional these days. I feel like I cry all the time. I'm sure this is normal, it's just not normal for me. I'm trying to just "be" and crying is part of that.
Driving is hard. I'm jumpy and cautious. (Especially with black cars merging on the right side.) I will be okay, I know that, but it's weird to experience the lasting effects of a car accident. It's like my insides remember...my heart remembers what my brain wants to forget. Does that make sense? I want to trust the cars around me to do what they are supposed to do, but I can't yet.
Seeing these pictures you know why.
This was a horrible crash. I went for 45 miles an hour to zero in one spilt second. But, I'm thankful for only bruises on Clara. I'm thankful the front glass didn't shatter. I'm thankful the other guy walked away with only a sore shoulder...not sure how, cause I crushed his car. I'm thankful I'm here. Thankful for friends and family. Thankful for the kindness of strangers. Thankful I'm not done with this life. So, you're stuck with me for a little longer.
How am I doing? I just need to rest...Lord, help me to do that. (It's not easy for me to lay still and let other people help me...but, I'm trying.) Thank you for all your kind words through social media, meals, cards, caring for my kids, praying and loving me. I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness.